How to Write the First Dating Letter

Dating online is all about impressing someone before they are impressed by somebody else. So paying attention to what you write in your first dating letter to a complete stranger is important.

Define Your Goals

One of the most priorities of dating online is finding someone who matches you. If you do not want to waste your time define your goals in the very first dating letter to someone you do not know. Some people may be interested only in a long-distance relationship, others may be looking for someone local. Some people may be not ready to change their way of life too much, others are looking forward to relocating and moving to a new place.

Read it over Again

Sometimes people make lots of spelling mistakes and do not care to correct them. If you misspell or even miss a whole word it can change the meaning of the whole sentence. Check your spelling before you send your first dating letter to the mysterious stranger.

Don't Be Too Stingy =)

Avoid writing a short and meaningless first dating letter to show your interest. Something like “You're such a cutie” or “Interested?” won't work. Most girls/boys are Not interested in replying to someone who doesn't take a minute to write about himself/herself. Besides how big of a reply do you expect to receive to this? Write a substantial and captivating letter, but do not overdo it with too many details either.

Don't Make it Hard

Dating online is hard, don't make it harder. Do not ask your correspondent to ask you questions. Yes, it is hard to start a conversation. But your correspondent does not know you at all, how could he/she know what is alright to ask you about? If you really care to make an impression, you will find what to say. There are millions of subjects to talk about, besides the weather. You can talk about your crazy hobbies, your hopeful plans for the future, your big/small house, your funny pets, your wild family members, your beloved car, your wonderful city and great friends.

Don't Start Complaining

Do not complain about how much you hate your job or how bad your ex was. Leave all the negativity for later because the person you are trying to correspond to is not that close to you yet to sympathize you or share your pain. Whining in the very first letter to a stranger is really annoying, so make your letter positive and friendly.


1 comment posted
Hate complainers

I hate the last part - when guys start complaining. I date a lot, and one of the main reasons for me to stop dating a man is that he starts complaining. I know that men usually do not complain much, but why am I so unlucky? Maybe I have some magnetic force that draws all complainers to me? And another thing. I really think that guys should check the spelling of their letters once in a while. I chat online and write to a lot of men, but sometimes it is really hard to read and understand what they write. Of course this is not the most decisive factor for me and I wouldn't give the go-by to a nice guy just because of his awful spelling. But it would just be nice to read a letter without trying to figure out what he meant to say. Thanks!

Posted by Ann (not verified) on Sun, 06/06/2010 - 20:05